Dear January,

I loved you until today. You brought me “The Sinner,” “The Americans,” and “Homecoming.” I’ve been a happy little binger. I lost myself in each series. By the way, I also lost my first pound since December 20. I know we typically don’t think of loss as something to smile about, but I’m a fan of contradiction and unexpected whimsy. I’ll tell you what I’m not a fan of: migraines. And today, January, you brought me one, like a tail-less lizard dropped on my doorstep. Maybe you thought you were showing me your devotion. Maybe you thought I would appreciate your unsolicited gift. But I did not. Your disappointment robbed me of a productive day of laundry, writing, and whatever else I might have tackled had you not tackled me. I lost a day–spent it on the couch. And it hurt. The more I sat, the more my body hurt. We know that bodies need movement, and you pinned me down in pain. So, January, let’s get it together, okay? Knock this shit off.

–Sincerely, Me